Don't Police My Language, Emotions, or Tone
Let me start off by saying that I am an OVERWHELMINGLY passionate person. I have many things that I love and care about and I share my passions with basically anyone who will listen. This was a big part of why I started Three Token Brown Girls! I want to be able to express myself, say what I need to say, and have a safe place for it all. Most of the time, I'm gentle and patient with what I say and in response to our followers and readers. Yet other times, I'm angry, loud, vulgar, and sarcastic. I'm human. I have emotions and limits to my tolerance, which are exacerbated by the reactions I get from privileged people reading my words.
Something I need to clarify: marginalized people are entitled to our feelings! We don't have to take oppression, gaslighting, sea-lioning, and speaking over pleasantly and gracefully. If someone is being willfully obtuse and argumentative, I'm not going to play nice. Yet somehow, the other person feels holier-than-thou while I'm labeled the angry brown girl.
When you tell us to be nice and polite in the face of oppression, you're basically saying that your feelings matter more than my oppression. If you won't be an ally or accomplice because I wasn't nice enough to you, then you were NEVER on our side to begin with! If you actually care about marginalized communities and the injustices pushed upon us, then how you are treated by one or even a handful of people from the community should not make you stop your activism! Have you thought about how it is for us? Having privileged people ask the same questions over and over, even though I've answered already...which they'd know if they put even a tiny bit of effort into listening and reading first.
The assumption that marginalized people somehow owe you answers or explanations is incredibly problematic and privileged. I don't owe you a damn thing. What I'm willing to do to educate you and how often I'll do it changes all the time.
The oppressors are not entitled to my perpetual civility. I will not concede my justified emotions and reactions to the fragility of my oppressors. I refuse to allow myself or my WoC sisters to be silenced!